Oscar Schloscar

What the hell's happened to the Oscars?! There was a time the show was glamorous, funny and actually... are you ready for this... EXCITING!

Now, everyone appear to be droids so pumped full of Botox they're incapable of clapping their hands! Yes, I'm talking to you dullards sitting in the front row.

For chrissakes, you're fucking ACTORS. At least make us believe you're having a good time!