Ink Slinger

Happy Oscar Day!

2010-03-07T16:18:00.000-08:00

A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

Wise Wise Words

2009-09-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

From Stephen Sondheim's "Sunday in the Park With George:

Stop worrying where you're going, move on
If you can know where you're going, you've gone
Just keep moving on.

I chose, and my world was shaken--so what?
The choice may have been mistaken
but choosing was not.
You have to move on.

Look at what you want,
Not at where you are,
Not at what you'll be.
Look at all the things you've done for me:
Opened up my eyes
Taught me how to see
Notice every tree!
Understand the light!
Concentrate on now!
I want to move on . . .
I want to explore the light.
I want to know how to get through
through to something new--
Something of my own!

Move on!
Move on!

Stop worrying if your vision is new.
Let others make that decision . . .
they usually do!
You keep moving on.
Look at what you want,
Not at what you are
Not at what you'll be
Look at all the things you gave to me.

See what's in my eyes, And the color of my hair,
and the way it catches light.
And the care, and the feeling
And the light, moving on!

We've always belonged together.
We will always belong together!
Just keep moving on.

Anything you do, let it come from you--
then it will be new.
Give us more to see.

Ageism in Hollywood

2009-06-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

Robert J. Elisberg.Columnist and screenwriter
Posted: June 18, 2009 11:09 AM

What Hollywood is Not Letting You See

Several years back, an article in the Los Angeles Times dealt with Hollywood closing its doors to writers over the age of 40. In it, a producer was quoted as saying that he could hire two 25-year old writers for what it would cost him to hire one Alvin Sargent.

(Alvin Sargent had recently written the Oscar-winning "Ordinary People," as well as "Paper Moon," "Julia," the "A Star is Born" remake, and many others.)

I wrote a letter to the newspaper, which it published. All I asked was one question - "Why in the world would you want to??"

It's worth noting that in the following years, Mr. Sargent (despite thoughtlessly becoming over 50) continued to write or co-write such films as "What About Bob?," "Other People's Money" and "Hero."

Oh, and also all three "Spiderman" movies. The last, by the way, when he was 80 years old.

Ageism, among its many problems, including being illegal, is...well, insane. After all, among the various discriminatory "isms" (each of them insidious), it is the only one where those practicing it are guaranteed, with good health, to be their own victims one day.

And the losers in all this are not just the writers, but you. More on that in a bit.

But further, this ageism is foolish for yet another reason (beyond being illegal, but I mentioned that). Writing is a profession where skills actually improve as you get older. Writers gain experience in the avalanche of life, they fine-tune their craft, discover their voice. Almost to a person, writers shudder at the early scripts they wrote, even if successful. And the reality of life is that every writer who is 70 has been 25. But no writer who is 25 has yet been 30. You see, writers actually pay detailed attention to those around them daily. It's their job, it's what they do. And if some may not understand Twitter - name the last movie you saw about Twitter.

What people love in movies first are stories that enthrall us, and characters that fascinate us. Period.

To be clear, none of this is to suggest that only writers older than 40 know how to write scripts. Far from it. A great writer is a great writer, whatever their age. But it's the "whatever their age" that is the operative point.

But finally, ageism in screenwriting is pointless for one other reason. Let's play a game. What's your favorite movie? Got it?

Okay. Who wrote it?

Close to 99.6% of the time, no one can say. I include studio executives, producers and agents. And they are movie professionals whose actual job it is to know who write movies. And they don't have a clue who wrote their favorite movie.

(Some savants actually know the answer, and I admirably salute you all. But it gets stickier when moving to a second favorite movie, and third.)

And here's the even stickier, main question: how old were they?

The point is, as far as any executive knows, the person who wrote their Very Favorite Movie Ever could have been a 62-year-old Lithuanian woman.

Which begs the question:

"Why in the world would you care anything about the age, sex or race of an invisible screenwriter? Why isn't the only question you ask when reading a screenplay - 'Is it good?'"

And there isn't an answer.

The closest you hear is mumbling something about feeling more comfortable working with people their own age, or being intimidated by someone with more experience. The response to that is simple -

Get another job. You are in the wrong profession. You are holding American popular culture in your hands, and if you are too insecure to talk to another adult, you are too insecure to oversee a $60 million production. Get out, give audiences a break. They're paying enough at the box office. Why stick them with your personal limitations?

Because ultimately, beyond the writers, it's the public who suffers.

Let me explain.

Hold on to your chair, the stories are curdling.

Steve Martin tells of trying to pitch a movie based on the classic play "Cyrano de Bergerac." No studio executive knew what he was talking about, and all rejected it. Luckily, though, he was Steve Martin and knew the studio president, Guy McElwaine. And happily McElwaine was a bright adult who actually loved the play. And most fortunately of all, the movie got made - because otherwise no one would ever have seen the glorious "Roxanne."

A friend once pitched a version of Sherlock Holmes. "Who's that?" a studio executive asked, later thinking the world-renowned, fictional detective was a real person. Needless-to-say, it never got made. But imagine if that same executive had been pitched the new Sherlock Holmes movie which stars Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. You wouldn't see it this December.

Another friend was pitching a buddy movie to an executive who prided herself on the subject. "Let's discuss great buddy movies," she enthused, "I'm an expert." My friend immediately mentioned, "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." "What's that?" the executive asked.

Honest.

And the stories like these are endless.

By the way, some people reading this won't know all these references. You should, they're major parts of our cultural history - but if you don't, it's okay. After all, you're not a studio executive, producer or agent. But they should, it's their job to know these things. They are all guardians of American popular culture, and not knowing its foundation is a failure of responsibility.

And you suffer. Because not knowing the references that doesn't mean you wouldn't enjoy the results. Most people likely didn't know "Cyrano," but loved "Roxanne." Most people never heard of the real Butch Cassidy, but the movie was a phenomenon. And even if you've never heard of Sherlock Holmes, it's reasonable to think audiences will go to the movie this Christmas.

You suffer. Remember: your favorite movie could likely be written by someone over 40. If today's Hollywood executives had their way, your favorite movie wouldn't exist.

This all came to mind on Monday when the Writers Guild of America began this year's "Seasoned Readings," a program that promotes the works of their older writers. To bring attention to the series, they started with a new TV pilot for a proposed six-part miniseries, "Pinnacle," by Larry Gelbart.

For writers, the name Larry Gelbart is enough. Just know that his voluminous works include "Oh, God!," "Tootsie," developing the TV series "M*A*S*H," HBO's "Barbarians at the Gate," and two Tony Award-winning musicals, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" and "City of Angels."

At the age of 81, Larry Gelbart is a rarity - not that he's still active, but that he's more active than most A-list writers. He recently premiered a play, "Better Late," is developing two Broadway musicals, and also two movies. And more. But make no mistake, there are Hollywood offices that don't want to work with an 81-year-old writer, whoever he is. Their loss. And ours.

Because in a lifetime of acclaimed comedy writing, "Pinnacle" was unlike anything in Larry Gelbart's career. Deeply serious, but filled with sardonic humor, it explores the world of 1937 Berlin with its interweaving tales of evil, moral emptiness, hope and artistic drive, all with a menagerie of compelling characters both fictional and real.

A miniseries of the remarkable "Pinnacle" would fit in today's world of dark TV filled with Mafia families, murderous cops, and fathers making meth amphetamine. Its historic setting is no less challenging for viewers attuned to ancient "Rome" or the Wild West of "Deadwood."

But whether "Pinnacle" is ever produced, there is a larger point at play here. The script is rich, vibrant, funny and dark - the work of someone fully in charge of his craft, telling a complex story masterfully, dealing with material he never could have touched at the beginning of his career, when he wrote for "The Red Buttons Show," "Four Star Revue" and "Hooray for Love."

And that's the point. When writers of any age - or women - or minorities - are blocked from simply getting in the door ...forget that it's illegal, or makes no sense. Forget that writers suffer and that popular culture suffers. Just know that you suffer. Because writing at its peak is silenced, and the result is that expectations of audiences is lowered. I'm not referring to High Art or even serious material. Indeed, great silliness can be a treasure. I'm talking only about wonderful material whatever the subject, done by artists with a lifetime of craft, who can tell a story and create characters and write humor as well as anyone. And sometimes better. Because they've spent a lifetime learning how.

There are brilliant young writers. There are great older writers. And in the end, all an audience cares about is one thing - is it a good story? Not, "How old was the writer?"

This Won't Hurt A Bit!

2009-06-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

For all two of you who've been badgering me to post my short film, here it is:

(NOTE: I had no say in the location, casting, lighting, or direction of this film.)

Check It Out

2009-06-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

SWAGBUCKS

Just a quickie, 'cause I have to get my stuff done.

2009-03-31T21:26:00.000-07:00

You think your life is hectic...?

2009-02-20T20:18:00.000-08:00

Hollywood ASST from Back of the Class on Vimeo.

Left Turn?...Right Turn?

2009-01-01T20:50:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2009. Could someone please tell me how we got here?

I've been writing "seriously" since 2001, but I only have one actual credit to my name. I've entered every noteworthy screenplay contest with decent results, but no one is standing on my doorstep with contract in hand. I'm unemployed. At this point in time, I may be unemployable. I used to have skills (outside of writing, that is), but I very much doubt my being able to properly format a screenplay is what job agencies are looking for. I used to be a travel agent. Hell, is anybody still a travel agent?

Ideas -- I've got thousands of them. Literally. Perhaps that's the problem. I've got mental gridlock. At least that's what it feels like. Do I continue with the thriller about the embittered detective and the nun who's been targeted for assasination? Should I go with the romantic comedy about a self-absorbed actress who fakes her own disappearance to boost her flagging career? How about the action-adventure that's a cross between The Boxcar Children and Indiana Jones?

You name it, and I've probably got a story idea for it. In fact, I've got so many story ideas jotted on PostIts, legal pads, scraps of paper, napkins and the backs of envelopes that I've filled every nook and cranny of my house with them. If I lived to be 200 years old, I'd never be able to use all these ideas.

Is it possible to have too many ideas? In my case, yes. I'm constantly distracted from what I need to be doing by new story ideas popping into my head.

So, what's my point? Well, it's just that...

I'm sorry. What were we talking about? Could you excuse me? I just got a great idea for a story, and I want to jot it down before I forget it!

The Latest Go-Round

2008-12-19T09:25:00.000-08:00

How Much Have You Done?
This one's going around the blog sphere. Bold what you've done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped - no freaking way!
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning .
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill. Tee hee.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping. I don't want to frighten the fish.
27. Run a Marathon Half-marathon, actually!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors Amish country. Very beautiful!
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person Been on it!
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie1: snotty teen/victim, 2: swapmeet participant
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business. And ended it about one month later.
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies .
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma. Tried and can't -- apparently I have no veins.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check. Not on purpose.
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar. Blech.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone. One of the smallest; in my foot. Still hurt like hell!
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. Motorcycle, yes -- speeding, no.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someones' life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby. Two.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Gee, I guess I have done a lot.

How 'bout you?

Giving Thanks

2008-11-25T12:12:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. Probably because it centers around food. As a child, I loved watching my mother prepare for the day's feast while happily watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Christmas Parade on T.V. My mom worked for days to make that one meal special.

One tradition that she passed down to me is Chestnut Stuffing. I can't imagine Thanksgiving without it. Something about those sweet tender morsels of nutty goodness peeking out from the bready mass makes you forget how much work goes into preparing them for turkey day.

The way to properly prepare them is to: 1) Buy far too many for your recipe, so you'll have plenty of extras to snack on, and to allow for any spoiled nuts.

2) Take a paring knife and cut "X's" into the skin of each chestnut, so they will cook faster (they don't), and will be easier to peel, once roasted (they aren't). Actually, I believe this is a tradition of torture passed down from my grandmother to my mother to me as payback for having to work so frigging hard on a holiday.

3) Place the chestnuts on a large backing sheet and roast in a 350 degree oven for approximately 15-20 minutes, or until your smoke alarm goes off. This is also a good time to bandage all those cuts inflicted by the paring knife.

4) Cool the chestnuts -- but not for too long, or they'll turn to stone and you'll NEVER get them peeled. While still warm, however the peel can easily be removed to reveal: a) one of God's most sublime creations, or b) a wormy, rotten mess. Hopefully the former, not the latter.

Now comes the really hard part: resisting the urge to devour the batch before they're used in the stuffing.

You think I'm joking, don't you?

But, take heart, for you will soon be munching that manna from the Man Above, along with all those other delights that are so intrinsic to this one day; this special day, this Thanksgiving Day.

Now that is something to be thankful for!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Sign of the Times, Part 2

2008-11-03T12:33:00.000-08:00

I wish I had something glib to say this time, but I don't. I'm angry. Very angry.

Sometime this morning, someone trespassed onto our property and removed our "No on Prop. 8" sign -- as if that would change our point of view, or our vote.

Honestly, how ignorant can one get? Well, I'll tell you...

On Halloween, as my husband was handing out candy, a man approached him and (referring to our sign) asked if my husband was Christian. My husband gave his answer, but the man wasn't satisfied. The man then stated, "You know...this whole thing is about promoting polygamy. You know...those people having multiple partners, and all".

SAY WHAT?!

If it weren't so sad, I'd be laughing my ass off right about now.

Procrastination

2008-10-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

Yep.

Sign of the times

2008-10-29T16:18:00.000-07:00

LOVE IT!

Doing the Campaign Boogie

2008-10-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

Gotta love it!

Serving Up O.J.

2008-10-04T11:10:00.000-07:00

GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS!

13 years to the day he was a acquitted for the murders of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

The jury deliberated for 13 hours to reach their decision.

Coincidence? Perhaps, but I'm going out to buy a lottery ticket today at 13-hundred hours!

(Doesn't this photo just scream, "Damn, you finally got me"?)

The Passing of a Great Man

2008-09-27T10:38:00.001-07:00

You've earned your rest, my friend.

What It Really Takes To Survive In Hollywood

2008-09-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

BALLS OF STEEL!

Haven't got any? Now you can buy 'em.

Wanna see mine?

Pretty, aren't they? And oh, so functional, too!
Shame on you for what you're thinking!

A Great Voice Now Silent

2008-09-03T20:56:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. Don LaFontaine.

Who, you ask? Well, if you've been around for, say, the last 40 years, or so, then you may not know the name, but you'll surely know the voice. The man was one of the premier voice-over artists Hollywood had. He will be missed.

Here is a wonderful Hollywood parody with the great man himself:

Bragging Rights

2008-09-01T12:58:00.000-07:00

I'm a finalist!

And, lemme tell ya...it feels good!

The Omnivore's Hundred

2008-08-31T16:32:00.000-07:00

Purely for the sake of research... Oh, who am I kidding? I'll do anything to keep from writing! Anyway, this list is a test of your gustatory (ain't that a nifty little word?) prowess.

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) ~~Cross out~~ any items that you would never consider eating.

The Omnivore’s Hundred:
1. Venison - yes, in jerky form
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros - Yes, although not a Mexican food fan
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding - In sausage form, until I found out what It was made of.
7. Cheese fondue - YUM!
8. Carp - Too muddy-tasting
9. Borscht - I'm a nice, Jewish girl. Need I say more?
10. Baba ghanoush - Baba yes!
11. Calamari - With ponzu sauce is to die for!
12. Pho - Not yet, but I definitely will.
13. PB&J sandwich - I think every kid in America lives on this stuff.
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart - With sauerkraut, please!
16. Epoisses - Never heard of it.
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes - *HIC*!
19. Steamed pork buns - Chinatown, here we come!
20. Pistachio ice cream - Love the flavor, hate the color.
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras - Ahhhh, Paris!
24. Rice and beans - Listening to great jazz.
25. ~~Brawn, or head cheese~~ - No how, no way!
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters - Not a fan, but I have slipped a few down.
29. Baklava - Okay, now I'm hungry!
30. Bagna cauda - A tradition at every Christmas Eve get-together.
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - San Francisco, baby!
33. Salted lassi - Good, but not as great as the mint!
34. Sauerkraut - Anytime, anywhere!!!!
35. Root beer float - **SLURP**!
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - Lose the cigar.
37. Clotted cream tea - Ahhh, good times...good times!
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O - No, but would love to try it.
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. ~~Whole insects~~ - Probably already have without knowing it. Blech!
43. Phaal - WTF?!
44. Goat’s milk - Yes, even made soap from it! Aren't I clever?
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more - Too strong for me -- or my wallet.
46. Fugu - Curious, but not stupid.
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel - Unagi! *drools*
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - Totally unimpressed.
50. Sea urchin - Tastes like Janitor-in-a-Drum cleanser.
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi - Wouldn't be a Bento without it!
53. Abalone - Cheew-eee!
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal - Ain't America great?
56. Spaetzle - Yavol!
57. Dirty gin martini - Not yet.
58. Beer above 8% ABV - Not a beer drinker.
59. Poutine - Never heard of it.
60. Carob chips - I don't care what anyone says. These do not taste "just like chocolate"!
61. S’mores - Every chance possible, as a kid.
62. Sweetbreads - Another one of those icky things I should probably try.
63. Kaolin - ???
64. Currywurst - Never seen there around here.
65. Durian - Not allowed into the Mainland. Did try to find it in Hawaii.
66. Frogs’ legs - Tastes just like (tiny) chicken (legs).
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - Yes, yes, yes & yes!
68. Haggis - Very tasty. Not at all as gross as you'd expect.
69. Fried plantain - OMG!
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette - So not my thing.
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini - Not a huge caviar fan -- except in sushi.
73. Louche absinthe - Would love to try some. Got any?
74. Gjetost, or brunost - Translation, please?
75. Roadkill - You must be joking...right?
76. Baijiu - No clue what this is.
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail - It's the garlicky buttersauce that make it.
79. Lapsang souchong - I love tea.
80. Bellini - Ready, willing and able.
81. Tom yum - Yum is the word!
82. Eggs Benedict - Heart-attack on a plate!
83. Pocky - Fun, but for the kids.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant. - My wallet holds me back.
85. Kobe beef - Poverty prevents.
86. Hare - With a mustard-cream sauce. Oh. My. God!
87. Goulash - Okay, I guess.
88. Flowers
89. ~~Horse~~ - My daughter would disown me!
90. Criollo chocolate - Have never seen it, otherwise I definitely would!
91. Spam - Even have some in my pantry right now!
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish - MUDDY!
95. Mole poblano - Oooh, baby!
96. Bagel and lox - See #9 above.
97. Lobster Thermidor - Honestly don't remember.
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee - Not a coffee drinker.
100. Snake - Are you nuts?!

The Countdown

2008-08-30T15:30:00.001-07:00

Here's hoping.

Tomorrow and Monday I will find out if I go from semifinalist to finalist in two important screenwriting competitions.

I could really use the validation. Especially since the agency that loved my writing, said I have "a way with words that is rarely seen", and wanted to talk has since disappeared off the face of the map.

The Law(suits) of the (Hollywood)Land

2008-08-20T17:33:00.000-07:00

From Deadline Hollywood: Not only did the over age-40 TV writers settle with ICM but also the old Broder Kurland Webb agency which ICM acquired in 2006. How much moolah did it take? The $4.5 million I reported, paid for by insurance. According to the consent decree filed today, the settlement talks over the 8-year-old age discrimination class action lawsuits began in November 2007 after both parties reviewed and evaluated demographic data including television writer employment by age, earnings, and studio and agency representation during the liability period. But here's what I really love about the consent decree: ICM must now provide training on at least a biannual basis to recognize and prevent age discrimination to all its personnel involved in screening potential TV writer clients. ICM even has to take attendance at each training session. ICM also has to pay $50,000 to sit on an independent task force to examine its representation practices, and to participate conditionally in a job relief program that will promote the top 25% of older TV writers based on script evaluations by a neutral panel qualified experts.

Wow, the agents are now the older writers' bitches. What a great day for Hollywood.

Especially now that 10,000 TV writers say they've "penned a happy ending" to the first of 23 class action age discrimination lawsuits by obtaining both dollars and programmatic relief designed to enhance work opportunities. Still unresolved are the other class actions in Los Angeles Superior Court against the major TV networks and production studios, including ABC, CBS, Disney, Fox, NBC Universal, Columbia, Warner Brothers and talent agencies Creative Artists, Endeavor, Paradigm and William Morris. Judge Emile Elias is expected to conduct a hearing later this year to grant final approval on the ICM deal. Class members may obtain claim forms from plaintiffs' counsel upon the issuance of the settlement notice, but monetary awards to class members will not be made until at least thirty days after the deadline to file claims and approval by the Court. The settled case, Edwards, et al v. International Creative Management, Inc. alleged that the more than 150 named plaintiffs and others like them - television writers who were aged 40 and older after October 22, 1996 - were victims of systematic age discrimination by talent agents, who aided and abetted networks and studios by refusing to represent and refer older writers for work at the production studios. "The settlement agreement with ICM provides these talented television writers with a fair resolution to their claims," said Steve Sprenger of Sprenger + Lang, lead trial counsel for the plaintiffs. "However, we still have a lot of work ahead of us to get these older writers the programmatic and monetary relief they deserve."

Hollywood's undying contempt love for the older writer

2008-08-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

From Deadline Hollywood: EXCLUSIVE: Slowly but surely, a group of over age-40 TV writers alleging age discrimination by Hollywood networks, studios, production companies and talent agencies have been winning their lawsuits. Their latest victory took place last Thursday when the California Court Of Appeals issued a ruling on discovery in their favor. As a result, one of the defendants has now decided to become the first to settle with the writers. I'm told it's ICM, and I understand that the other big Hollywood talent agencies are none too happy about the tenpercentery breaking ranks and "going rogue", in the words of one rival agency owner. (Won't that be a fun session at the next meeting of the Association of Talent Agents?) Insiders inform me that ICM's settlement amount is $4.5 million and will be covered by the agency's insurance. The deal is done, and all that's left to finish is the paperwork, I hear. Now that ICM has taken this seriously, look for the other agencies -- at least those with insurance -- to get in line to settle, too.

About two dozen class action lawsuits were originally filed 8 years ago in federal court in Los Angeles by 150+ older writers claiming pervasive age discrimination since the early 1980s. The allegations included violations of the federal Age Discrimination In Employment Act, the Labor Management Relations Act, and the California Fair Employment and Housing Act. Targeted were the then six television networks, including CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox; studios including Walt Disney Co, Fox Entertainment, Universal and Paramount; 12 production companies; and 11 talent agencies, including William Morris, CAA, ICM and Endeavor. Among those taking up the writers' cause has been the AARP which joined the class action specialist Sprenger + Lang law firm. Since 2000, the cases have wound their way through California state and federal lower courts and appeals courts with some setbacks but also much success for the writers. Ultimately, the outcome of these cases could affect thousands of unemployed or underemployed older writers and help change the way TV deals are done in Hollywood and elsewhere.

Yes!

Grab a Kleenex

2008-08-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

(You have been warned)

Some people I will always miss

2008-07-30T16:53:00.000-07:00

Back when I was still acting, I dreamed of the day when my face would be immortalized by none other than Al Hirschfeld.

Even from when I was very little, I was amazed how in a few simple pen strokes he could so vividly capture the essence of an individual. I was determined to be one of those individuals. Sadly, that was not to be.

About the same time, a program that originated in Chicago began broadcasting nationwide. It was called "Sneak Previews", and was hosted by Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. I never missed a show. If they gave their signature "two thumbs up" I was sure to see that film. If they gave a "thumbs down", forget it.

I loved the banter between them. They had decidedly opposite taste in what kinds of films they liked, and they often got into heated debates about the virtures of their particular favorite movie of the week.

Tragically, in 1999 Gene Siskel passed away from complications during brain surgery. That left Roger Ebert to find a new partner. Several came and went, but the chemistry was never quite the same.

When Roger Ebert fell ill in 2002 with cancer in his co-host Richard Roeper took over the lead spot of the show, now re-named "At the Movies", and he began having a series of fellow film critics come in to second him on the show.

With the loss of Gene Siskel, and then the departure of Roger Ebert, the magic was gone. Richard Roeper's delivery is entirely too snarkey for my taste, and although most of his co-hosts were quite pleasant, they proved no match to Roeper's incredible ego.

But all this is now a moot point. Roeper hasn't renewed his contract with Disney, and Ebert -- even though he hasn't been on air in quite some time -- also followed suit, not renewing his contract.

There are rumors Roger Ebert is thinking about hosting a new program -- not with Disney, of course -- but for the moment they are simply rumors.

Make that a Venti(ng) to go!

2008-07-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

Three years in a row. Three years placing highly, but not highly enough in several prestigious screenwriting competitions to advance into the finals.

I don't get it. I know it's a crapshoot, but come on! One set of people love the piece, while another finds it passable.

One particular management company told me, "(Name withheld) and I just finished reading your script - its an amazing one and we're both huge fans. You have a way with words that is rarely seen." If this is the case, if I truly have a way with words, then why WHY can't I get beyond where I am?

I know it can't just be a matter of talent. I know people with buckets of talent, and are still struggling the way I am.

If I was twenty years old, this might not bother me as much as it does, but I'm not twenty. Hell, I'm not twice-twenty!

Fiction writers write until either their heart, or their brain gives out. Established fiction writers are revered. Younger writers learn from them. Younger writers look up to them.

Hollywood, on the other hand, is a strange beast in which the tables are turned; the young devour the old. Screenwriters over a "certain age" are almost non-existant. This is a young person's game, or more specifically, a young man's game, since most screenwriters these days seem to be baseball cap-wearing twenty-somethings, who sit in Starbucks sipping twelve-syllable drinks. This is a statement I find both horrifying and fascinating, since most of those young people I've met don't know jack-shit about themselves, much less about life. And yet theirs are the screenplays being bought and made by the studios. They are writing about people my age! WTF?!

If you want stories about --and for -- people my age, then hire someone who is my age!

I am available. Now.

(All operators are standing by)

Happy Birthday -- To Me!

2008-07-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

Two-score and eleven years ago, our father and mother brought forth on this continent a new child, conceived in liberty, and dedicated themselves to the proposition that all men and women are created equal.

What were they thinking?!

Living It Well - R.I.P. Randy Pausch

2008-07-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

This was a man I wish I had known.

Please watch. Often.

A Tiny Glimmer of Light...

2008-07-14T15:33:00.000-07:00

To guide me out of the endless morass of self-pity I've been in lately:

Dear Cathy,

2008 marks the fifth anniversary of the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards, and it has been a record-breaking event! We received 3,865 scripts this year, submitted by writers from all across the United States and 50 foreign countries. Our judges tell us that the overall quality of this year's entries is the best they’ve seen, and they’ve been extremely impressed by many of your screenplays. So the next few months promise to be very exciting!

Today we're officially kicking off the 2008 Awards season and we have some good news for you…

The First Round of judging has now been completed, and the judges have chosen the top 25% of all entries to compete in the Quarter-Finals. Based on your First Round scores, we're very happy to inform you that the following advanced to the Quarter-Final Round:

A Ghost of a Chance

Congratulations!! Given the level of competition you faced, this is a real achievement.

Our Quarter-Final judges are now in the process of reading and evaluating your screenplays, and their scores, combined with the scores of the First Round judges, will determine the twenty-five Semi-Finalists in each of our ten genre categories.

We’ll finish tallying all those scores in just a couple of weeks. So mark your calendar and make sure you check our website on Friday, August 1st, when we’ll post the list of our 2008 Semi-Finalists.

Thanks again for the opportunity to review your work, and best of luck in this Quarter-Final Round!

Sincerely yours,
Jennifer Berg & Zoe Simmons
The 2008 PAGE International
Screenwriting Awards
www.InternationalScreenwritingAwards.com

Obscene Amounts of Joy

2008-06-25T12:37:00.000-07:00

This is my lovely friend Renee.

She is one of my oldest and dearest friends. You should be so lucky to have a friend like her.

Sadly, I lost touch with her some years back, and try as I might I wasn't able to locate her.

And then there was the Internet.

For several years I once again attempted to locate her. Not easy, considering I couldn't remember her married name.

On a lark, I typed in her maiden name, and lo and behold, there she was!

Finally getting back in touch with her brings me the kind of joy that cannot be described, so I'm not even going to try.

I hope you also get back in touch with a long-lost friend soon.

R.I.P. George Carlin

2008-06-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

Words. He had seven of them.

I have none.

Happy Happy Happy

2008-06-11T19:24:00.001-07:00

Gotta love it.

This is What Happens When I'm Bored

2008-06-06T10:59:00.001-07:00

Trolling the Internet, I came upon this guy. He decided to honor the upcoming 2008 Olympics in China by decorating himself with 2008 pushpins.

And, just in case you were wondering, no, they aren't glued on.

Wow.

R.I.P. Harvey Korman

2008-05-29T17:24:00.001-07:00

More sad news from Hollywood.

Years ago, the Carol Burnett Show was one of my favorites. It still is. It had some of the best skit writing -- ever!

I am lucky to live in Los Angeles. I was even luckier to have had the chance -- chances, actually -- to attend live tapings of the show. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful the entire cast was. They were warm and welcoming to us, the audience.

Harvey Korman, Carol Burnett, Tim Comway, and Lyle Wagoner were generous with their time, answering questions from the audience, I'm sure they'd heard a thousand times before.

Harvey Korman had a long and illustrious career in Hollywood doing television and films. He was a hugely gifted mimic and comedian with a heart of pure gold.

Enjoy!

R.I.P. Sydney Pollack

2008-05-26T19:54:00.001-07:00

I never met the man, and yet he profoundly affected my life. He made me laugh. He made me cry. He made me think.

He made me want to be a screenwriter.

Little Deaths

2008-05-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

I dream big. Maybe too big.

That's why each time someone I know succeeds where I've failed, I die a little more. I'm afraid one day there will be nothing left of me. I'll simply have dried up and blown away.

It's a bitch being me.

Was Plato was right?

2008-05-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

So, I'm watching yet another biopic. This one's about the brilliant french sculptor Camille Claudel, who was the lover of Auguste Rodin.

Like so many other artists, she was nuts. She didn't start out that way, but she sure as hell ended up in a mental institution for 30 years.

Does creativity = insanity?

Van Gogh sliced off an ear as a gift. Salvidore Dali was a major nutjob. Paul Klee...Max Ernst...Jean Dubuffet...Georg Baselitz. All legally insane.

And that list doesn't even include composers, writers, or musicians!

I'm a screenwriter, and I'm the first to admit I've had a "problem" with depression my entire life, but does that entitle me to call myself creative?

Since most artists aren't recognized during their own lifetimes, would I have to off myself in order to gain recognition?

I hope not. What a bummer that would be.

Sign of the Times

2008-05-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

L.E.D. Billboards. If you haven't seen one yet, you will soon. They are everywhere.

Gone are the old billboards plastered with paper advertisements that are changed once every two to three months. Now, you get new advertisements every ten seconds.

Every. TEN. SECONDS!

As if there weren't enough distractions on the road. Now we not only have to watch out for those idiot driver's on their cellphones, and the ones applying make-up while behind the wheel, we have to avoid colliding with slack-jawed mouth-breathers, mesmerized by the ever-changing pretty pictures sitting a good thirty feet-or-so above freaking eye-level. Do you see a problem with this, like I do?

And it's not like I can simply hail a cab, or take the subway. Here in L.A., we don't have a subway. And as for cabs? Good luck. The only time I ever see one is when I'm at the airport. And don't get me started about being at the airport!

I love living in L.A. I really do, but let's face it, this city was not built for getting around. And certainly not at $3.85/gallon.

Thank God I have the Internet. With it, I can order items, and have them delivered right to my doorstep within a matter of hours or days (depending on how far it must travel). Flowers, food, alcohol, chocolates, books...aw, hell, anything my little heart desires is just a click away.

Now, if we can just do something about those slack-jawed mouth-breathers.

Shikata-Ganai

2008-04-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'd almost forgotten this Japanese saying. It's a good one. Loosely translated, it means... It was a favorite saying of the Japanese-Americans, who were interned in those Japanese "Relocation Camps" during WWII.

My husband's company is firing people left and right. Good people. People who are vital to the company's very survival. Now, we're wondering who's head will be next on the chopping block.

Shikata-Ganai

My daughter, a brilliant, but ADD-riddled girl, is failing middle school and couldn't care less.

Shikata-Ganai

There are days when rejection as a writer - overt and subtle - are all I encounter -- and are almost too much to bear.

Shikata-Ganai

It would be nice if I had something witty to end this blog with...but I don't.

Shikata-Ganai

A Glutton for Punishment

2008-04-13T19:31:00.000-07:00

Yep.
It's that time of year.

And, like so many other un-paid, un-recognized, un-relenting hopefuls, I am heeding the call to send in one (or more) of my screenplays to one (or more) of the screenwriting competitions out "there", in order to gain that money, recognition, and to further that hope -- just a bit more.

It's either that, or strip naked, wear a sandwich sign, and stroll up and down the street in front of CAA.

On second thought...

Wouldn't Ya Just Like To Smack Some Sense Into Them?

2008-03-28T13:30:00.001-07:00

At least one of them is happy.

I'll give that marriage exactly five minutes after the baby is born.

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, one of the role models for our young daughters.

Go to the nearest tower and lock 'em up now!

The Sky Is A Little Less Bright

2008-03-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

The world has lost another of its greats: Paul Scofield

1922- 2008

He was one of the finest actors of our time, and he will be greatly missed.

Here is just a minute example of his acting prowess. It is from "A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS", in which he portrays Sir Thomas Moore:

If you haven't yet seen this film, I urge you to as soon as possible. Not only is the great Scofield in it, but also the late great Robert Shaw, Leo McKern, Orson Wells, and Wendy Hiller. A stellar cast in an incredible portrayal of King Henry VIII's open defiance of the church to divorce his wife in order to marry Anne Boleyn.

The Fair Market Value Bill

2008-03-18T15:47:00.000-07:00

Reposted (with permission) from Ken Levine's blog:

"Thanks to the Writers Guild for organizing a recent MASH writers reunion. It was great to see everyone, I’m honored to be in their company, and I still have notes on all of their drafts.

The purpose of the reunion was that the WGA is trying to get a “Fair Market Value” bill passed through the California legislature (Bill #1765 if you're scoring). Here’s why:

A studio like 20th Century Fox produces a big hit like MASH. Some of the members of the creative staff (in this case Alan Alda and Larry Gelbart) have an ownership piece of the series. 20th offers the show for syndication. There’s a bidding war. They take the best offer – a huge windfall. Alan and Larry share in the largesse. And since residual rates depend on the deal – actors, writers, and directors receive nice royalties. Everyone wins.

But now these studios are all swallowed up by mega conglomerates. And agendas change.

20th becomes the property of News Corp. News Corp. wants to start a cable network (FX). They need programming. MASH would be perfect. So instead of renewing a rich syndication deal, they sell it essentially to themselves for nothing. Now the profit participants get nothing. News Corp. receives all advertising revenue from MASH and uses the show to lure viewers and build their cable network. Ultimately, the cable network will be more profitable to the conglomerate than the syndication sale. Residuals are smaller and the creators get screwed.

That’s what News Corp. did with MASH and X-FILES, and Universal did with WILL & GRACE. In all three cases the profit participants sued and each received a giant settlement. The congloms have done this with other series and have gotten away with it because the cost of litigation is so high.

So the Guild is trying to prevent this practice in the future. And this bill would go a long way towards that end. Over the next couple of months we MASH writers will be going to Sacramento to plead our case to state legislatures. We might even get to see the Governor if we promise to say we didn't hate AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS.

What does it say when we have to get an actual law passed because “everyone wins” just isn’t good enough for them?

Note: A number of readers have asked how they can help. Bless you. We need people to send letters to state senator Sheila Kuehl in support. I've provided a sample letter in the comments section. Thanks."

Here is a copy of that letter plus the good Senator's email address:

senator.kuehl@sen.ca.gov

State Senator Sheila Kuehl
Attn: Tam Ma
State Capitol, Room 5108
Sacramento, CA 95814

Dear Senator Kuehl,

I am writing in total support of Senate Bill 1765 – the Fair Market Value bill.

It is not secret that the media companies in the United States have concentrated their control over the airwaves by consolidating and vertically integrating. Whereas two decades ago there were several companies producing content for television and the big screen, today there are only a mere handful.

With this consolidation has come certain affects that the State of California must mitigate. Among them is the ‘self dealing’ which now happens in our industry. Because the large media companies now have density in both broadcast and cable markets, they are able to license television shows to a subsidiary company that is owned by the same parent company. For example, 20th Century Fox may air a show for its first run on the Fox broadcast network. They then may sell the license to the show to the FX cable network. Sometimes, when such self-dealing occurs, the companies do not pay the fair market value price for the content.

Over the last several years several profit participants have sued the studios or the production companies for ‘self dealing’ and for failing to pay the fair market value for the content. Creators and other profit participants from such hit shows as M*A*S*H, Will & Grace, NYPD Blue, The X-Files, among others, have filed suits to recoup money they should have been paid had the studio encouraged a competitive bidding process and secured the best possible deal for the show. These cases take several years and tremendous resources to wage.

For the actors and directors and writers on television shows, we have a stake in the sale price of a show, because the formula used to calculate our residuals for reruns is directly related to the license transfer fee. Residuals are critical to creative talent and help insure that writers, actors, directors and others are compensated for the work they do, and are able to sustain themselves and their families from the rigors of the often unpredictable job market of the entertainment industry. When television shows are sold for less than the fair market value, all of the creative talent are adversely affected.

Furthermore, when the studios practice ‘self dealing,’ the below-the-line crews such as truck drivers, grips, and others are adversely effected. In some cases, members of the below-the-line unions rely on the value of the transfer price to determine contributions to their health and pension funds. With health care costs constantly rising, the health funds desperately need to insure that the fund is compensated fairly.

For all of these reasons, I humbly ask for the California Legislature to support Senate Bill 1765. This bill is necessary to protect the creative talent and the below-the-line crews that work in the entertainment industry.

Sincerely,
(Your Name Here)

DO. IT. NOW.

Fabulous Advice from my Unmarried, Middle-Aged, Unemployed Sister - Part 1

2008-03-10T13:48:00.000-07:00

My sister. How shall I describe her? A pain in the ass? Good, but not quite descriptive enough. Meddling, to be sure, but it goes far beyond that. Perhaps, because she's older that I, she feels entitled to giving me advice from a more..."mature" perspective, because I am so terribly flawed.

Yep, that must be it.

Lately, she's been ragging on me to get a more "environmentally-friendly" car, as the one I have now is a disgusting display of over-indulgence, capitalism, and irresponsibility.

Apparently, my 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee really offends her.

Well, excuuuse me! I bought my car 5 months before I gave birth to my first child, knowing it would soon be filled with juice boxes and soccer equipment.

My environmentally-conscious (and did I mention unemployed?) sister was one of the very first Americans to purchase the new Smart Car from France. Cute, isn't it? It holds 8 gallons of gasoline, gets up to 60 miles per gallon, and seats two people. Just two.

That means every time my ~~deranged~~ beloved sister wants to spend some quality alone time with her niece and nephew (yes, I have two kids), she has to swap her wondercar for my planet-killer.

(Sigh) That's my sister.

Rideshare Thursday

2008-03-06T08:42:00.000-08:00

Here in Los Angeles, the land of liposuction, Lakers, and lattes, we have a nifty little thing called "RIDESHARE THURSDAY". On this day all the commuters who normally ride solo to and from work are supposed to buddy up to save gas, time, the environment, etc.

A great idea. Really. Except it doesn't work.

Without looking at a calendar I always know what day of the week it is by how crappy the traffic is. If my normally 20-minute 5-mile commute to my daughter's middle school takes longer than it did for the Ice Age to melt, then I know it must be Rideshare Thursday.

And yet we in L.A. are still being brainwashed into believing this to be a good thing.

I swear, whoever thought this up must be working for:

1) A tire company
2) Some oil company
3) Eli Lilly

You'll have to excuse me now, because I must go and pick up my 91 year old father for an eye doctor appointment. If I leave now, I should be able to get to his place sometime around Easter!

Patrick Swayze has Pancreatic Cancer

2008-03-05T15:45:00.000-08:00

Patrick Swayze is being treated for pancreatic cancer but is doing well enough to continue working, his representative said Wednesday.

The "Dirty Dancing" actor has a very limited amount of disease and appears to be responding well to treatment, according to Dr. George Fisher, Swayze's physician. Fisher's prognosis was included in a statement released Wednesday by Swayze's representative, Annett Wolf.

"Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far," the statement read. "All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic. Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects. The outpouring of support and concern he has already received from the public is deeply appreciated by Patrick and his family."

The New York Post and the National Enquirer, however, reported that Swayze is losing his battle to cancer and only has a few more weeks to live.

The Enquirer reported that the actor, 55, has been undergoing chemotherapy at Stanford University Hospital, but the treatment has had little or no effect on treating the cancer.

The actor has two projects in the works: the movie "Powder Blue," and a television movie titled "The Beast," according to the Web site imdb.com. Both are scheduled for release this year.

Damn! Double damn! My sincerest wishes for full remission.

Oscar Schloscar

2008-02-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

What the hell's happened to the Oscars?! There was a time the show was glamorous, funny and actually... are you ready for this... EXCITING!

Now, everyone appear to be droids so pumped full of Botox they're incapable of clapping their hands! Yes, I'm talking to you dullards sitting in the front row.

For chrissakes, you're fucking ACTORS. At least make us believe you're having a good time!

A revelation ... of sorts

2008-02-21T20:07:00.000-08:00

I hate writing. I really do. It's like pulling teeth for me. Just the act of sitting down and opening the computer to do something other than surf the Web is painful.

And yet I write. Prolifically? No, much to my chagrin. There are far too many distractions around me for my own liking.

The great irony is that I don't have a day job. I used to, but five years ago I quit it in order to devote all my time to writing. In those five years It seems though that I've written less than I did when I was still in the workplace. Perhaps it was the workplace stimulation, or the people I encountered each day. Whatever the reason, I do remember the fun I had sneaking moments of writing into my day and trying not to get caught.

That's it. I'll hire someone to randomly show up at my home and catch me "in the act". Perhaps that way I can get back that old feeling of being naughty and getting away with it, which is a lot more fun than the complete autonomy I have now.

I suppose I could always get another day job, working for close to minimum wage, with pinheads who have half the education I've received, and who spend most of their time gossiping viciously about co-workers just so they can feel better about their own miserable lives, all the while being inspired by the madness and scribbling random thoughts on company time.

On the other hand, I could simply take pharmaceuticals and get the same result.

Ooh... Shiny!

2008-02-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

It's the little things in life, isn't it? A really good movie ... great conversation with friends ... spontaneous laughter from your children ...

With me, it's cooking. I love to cook. Always have. That's not to say I've always been a great cook. Oh no, that came with time and plenty of practice.

Before my husband and I becamse engaged - some ninteen years ago - I gave him a Christmas gift knowing that we would soon become engaged. You know, women's intuition and all that.

Anyway, I bought him a lovely set of cookware. It was the same kind my parents had been using for many, many years - Farberware. Great stuff, Farberware. It'll take most any kind of abuse (which I can certainly attest to) and keep on going strong for decades.

As expected (by me) we did get married and I became the proud owner of those pots and pans. And I used them. Oh boy, did I use them! For eighteen years I've been using them.

Sad to report that I just killed one of the pots. To be more accurate, I killed the handle.

So, like any good cook I decided to figure out my options. I could replace that one pot. Sure. That would make sense. To someone else, that is.

But my brain works differently than others'. Why should I replace just one pot when I could replace the whole set?

AH HA!

So, that's what I did. And UPS should be here at any moment to deliver them.

They are All-Clad Cookware, and they are yummy... and expensive! Gulp! We may just have to take out a second mortgage just to pay for these beauties.

But I'm worth it. Right?

STRIKE OVER!

2008-02-12T19:42:00.000-08:00

Can I hear an "amen"?

The votes are in, but opinions (on both sides of the "we got screwed"/"we got a good deal" argument) are still running hot and heavy and probably will go on for some time.

Since I am not yet a WGA member, I will refrain from giving my opinion. I will simply accept their decision and hope it was the right one for everyone involved.

During the past three months I noticed something I'd never seen in this town before. Solidarity. Writers are a singular bunch, preferring their own company. But the strike forced some of them out of their shells and into the sun (or rain) to be with other writers. It was nice to meet others I've only met on blog sites or at seminars.

The screenwriters I met were intelligent, funny, and very dedicated to their craft. I will miss seeing them on the picket line, but it was lovely to finally be able to put faces together with names I've only heard about.

Whatever happens here on out, I wish all of us [screenwriters] great success in the coming months and years.

May we meet again.

All. Fingers. Crossed.

2008-02-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

For tomorrow's WGAw and WGAe meetings. Let us hope a good (and logical) agreement has been reached.

Entitlement!

2008-01-23T12:32:00.000-08:00

I'm concerned. No, I'm pissed off! It seems to me that people these days feel they have a particularly strong sense of entitlement. Let me explain.

Just today while waiting for a light to turn green, a limousine driver, coming from a side street tried to cut into the line ahead of me. Unfortunately for him (and my kids in the car at the time) I went berserk, yelling and screaming for him to "wait his own God-damned turn". Needless to say, I did not let him in front of me. Sorry, kids.

Not a hour later while in Target a kindly-looking older woman asked me to get her some gift cards because she was a bit too short to reach them. I did. Instead of thanking me, she simply took the cards and walked off.

People taking cuts in lines, people not saying "please", or "Thank you", people expecting things to be handed to them, just because...

You gotta wonder just how these people were raised.

If I didn't say "please" when asking for something, my parents would simply wait until I did before giving it to me. Likewise for a "thank you".

It goes far beyond pleases and thank-yous. Somehow people have gotten it into their heads that the world owes them for simply being them. Just when did we become so greedy. So...selfish?

You've done it. You know you have.

I'm sure I've been guilty of doing it, too.

Have we truly become a dog-eat-dog society, where the only thing that matters is personal satisfaction? If this is the case, then I am truly afraid for the world.

This rant has been made, because I am entitled to do so.

SO THERE!

I'm leavin' on a jet plane...

2008-01-10T13:00:00.000-08:00

Sing it with me. Go ahead.

Well, it's here. After training for months, and enduring loads of pain and setbacks, I am jetting off to Arizona to participate in my first-ever marathon!

It's the P.F. CHANG ROCK 'N ROLL MARATHON to be exact.

I ~~got roped~~ volunteered to help my friend join Team in Training and raise money/awareness for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. My friend is herself a Hodgkins Lymphoma survivor, so I'm honored she even thought to ask me to do this with her.

So, we leave tomorrow for Phoenix, where the projected temperatures for race day are...

A low of 43, and a high of 64. That's if we're lucky!

Shee-it!

The Team in Training group gives all participants a lovely purple running shirt -- that weighs all of two ounces! Mmmm, toasty.

I can see it now. The sweat my body produces while running, mixed with the frigid air will produce icicles in the most un-ladylike of locations. Yowch.

Many epople have asked me the same question. "So, are you ready?"

Fuck no. I tell 'em, "Does this couch-potato body look like it's ready to go the distance? Well, does it?!"

This usually shuts them up.

I may not be in the best physical shape, but I'm going, and I'm going to finish!

Hopefully alive.

I'll let you know.

So, How's Your Year Starting Out?

2008-01-07T16:46:00.000-08:00

Seven days into the New Year, and I'm ready to have it be the last seven days.

Today I got suckered into driving three (majorly) AD/HD boys from my son's school on their field trip to the San Juan Capistrano Mission.

Before I even got to the Mission, I got pulled over on a fucking toll road for speeding. The good news is that the officer saw my predicament and let me off with a stern warning.

The Mission is beautiful and well worth a quick visit. This was the one good part of today.

During lunch, the school group visited a petting zoo, where a miniature horse bit me! My little finger bled and throbbed for over two hours.

Not only was there that nasty little ~~future dog food~~ horsie, there was MUD! Everywhere. Gobs and gobs of the crap for the little ~~monsters~~ children to run around in and smear all over the rugs in my car. You see, we just had a major three-day storm here in Los Angeles, and my son's school refused to postpone the field trip. Aren't they just the nicest?

This little jaunt also cost me money. $30 in gas... $4.25 for that toll road... $24.00 in admission fees... $10.00 at the Mission gift shop (two kids - not my own - hit me up for a "loan"). There's money I'll never see again.

So, as I believe in learning something from every situation, here's what I've learned:

Don't let other's thinking you're a selfish asshole for never volunteering bother you in the least.

As Martha Stewart would put it, "Being an asshole; it's a good thing".

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T15:21:00.000-08:00

May you achieve personal greatness, and walk on clouds.

2008 is going to be a fascinating year!

Alone Time

2007-12-26T23:20:00.000-08:00

I love this time of night. It's past eleven, and the family is bedded down for the night. This is my opportunity to do whatever comes into my head.

Tonight I fancied having a drink. Doesn't sound like much, but I'm really not much of a drinker, and I thought, "why not?". A Kir Royale. That's what I fancied. That, and a fine bit of chocolate.

It just so happens my sister gave us a lovely box of Leonidas chocolates for Christmas. It also just so happens that I've eaten almost half the damned box already myself! Oh well, it's just once a year, right?

The champagne also came from Christmas lunch. Since I always ~~get stuck~~ am happy to make Christmas lunch for my family, I also get to decide what the menu will be. I made all the usual items, and served them up with Mimosas - thus the extra champagne.

Lucky me.

So, here I am sitting here sipping Kir and nibbling chocolates. The only things missing are a glowing fire and Pachelbel's Canon.

Next time, I'll plan for those, too.

In the meantime, I think I'll troll the Internet. You never know. There might be someone out there listening to Pachelbel.

Landmark Theaters vs. Pacific Theaters

2007-12-18T10:11:00.000-08:00

So, my husband and I finally went to see a film at the Landmark theater over in West L.A. to see if all the hype about this cinema paradise is true. Here's my comparision between the Landmark, and our regular theater chain, the Pacific:

The Landmark has free parking; ditto the Pacific.

You can purchase tickets for the Landmark online (with a $1 fee); same goes for the Pacific.

The regular rate at the Landmark is $11.00/seniors are $9.00; the Pacific's rate is $10.50/seniors are $7.00.

[Tip: if you go to the theater with someone who has gray hair, let them buy all the tickets for the senior rate. Most staff are too young to know how old you rally are, plus they never ask for I.D.]

The Landmark theater has "assigned" seating; the pacific? First come, first served.

You'll find foreign and designer candy at the Landmark; it's plain ol' M & M's and Junior Mints at the Pacific.

The seats are plush at the Landmark, but the armrests don't go up (in case you want to snuggle); the Pacific's seats are comfy enough & the arms can be raised and lowered.

The staff at the Landmark have snappy uniforms, there's hordes of 'em, and they're happy (read paid) to actually show you to your seat; the Pacific's staff uniform is bland, and they'd rather be talking to each other than to you.

The Landmark theater is spotless; the Pacific is... well, it won't kill you. Just remember the "5-second rule".

The Landmark seemed to attract a more "senior" crowd. The explanation could be that we went to see "Atonement"; The Pacific seems to attract a more family-aged crowd.

So after all is said, and all things compared, which theater do I prefer?

The Pacific. And why?

Simple. At the Pacific we go to, we have become such regular attendees that management considers us "VIPs". This honorary title has allowed us to see quite a few films for free.

And free is good.

Durm und Strang

2007-12-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

I am not a member of the WGA. At least not yet. So, why is this fracus important to someone like me?

Because I write. I am a WRITER, damn it!

Whew! That felt good.

Okay, so as I said, I am not a member of the WGA. But, mark my words, I will be one day, and that's why the Writers' strike is important -- not just to me, but to every future member of the WGA. If we don't fight for the future (our future), then there won't be one, get it?

So, please join me -- and other non-WGA members -- on the picket line, or Writing Letters to your local congress person(s) and/or networks to show your support of the current WGA members.

It's all about Karma. Dig?

It's Official --- I'm Nuts...But In a Good Way!

2007-08-07T19:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Family & Friends,

To celebrate the BIG 5-O I'm going to run a marathon! Can you imagine that...me, the world's greatest couch potato?!

I am writing you to make you aware of a special program I’m involved with: The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training. Team In Training is a fundraising and marathon-training program that will prepare me, along with my teammates, for the challenges of running a marathon while fundraising for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is a national voluntary health agency dedicated to curing leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma, and improving the quality of life of patients and their families.

I’ve decided to take on this challenge for numerous reasons. Simply stated, I want to make a difference. Then of course there is the physical challenge of running 26.2 miles, and most importantly I am doing this in honor of a very special person: Barbara Marmer Joyner, my very dear friend who battled Hodgkin’s disease, but is now in remission (yea, Barbara!). I’m thrilled to announce that Barbara will also be joining me on this marathon!

I invite you to support me as I fundraise for the Team in Training program and train for the P.F. Chang Rock ‘n Roll Marathon. I have made a personal commitment to raise $4,000.00. Your tax-deductible donation to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society will further this great cause. I am asking for your support in making a difference. A full 75% of all donations go directly to the cause, so I’m asking you to be as generous as possible. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society prides itself in having an expense ratio of no more than 25%, and was rated by Money magazine as one of the top ten charities for having the highest percentage of funds raised directly benefiting research and patient services.

My personal fundraising deadline is fast approaching so I ask that you send your contribution by October 31, 2007. This will help me monitor my progress. I will, of course still accept donations that come in after October 31, 2007.

All donations are 100% tax deductible, and our tax ID is 13-5644916. Feel free to pass this along to your friends & family. Also check to see if your company has a matching gifts program, it’s an easy way to double your donation!

For the easiest way to donate, simply click the link to access my website!

Click here to go to my web page

Thank you so much!

Cathy

P.S. I encourage you to review the Team in Training website (www.teamintraining.org/los) or call their toll-free number 1-888-577-4868, to learn more about the Team in Training program.

I'M TAKING STEPS TOWARD A CHANGE!

POOF! - Part 2

2007-07-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, so my world didn't crumble. I didn't die -- although there were times...

Turning 50 (I suspect) isn't easy for anyone. Let's face it, we'd all like to stay young and beautiful. Hell, I'd settle for a bit less downward movement -- if you know what I mean.

Anyway, today's another day and I think I'll be fine... Just as long the next person that sees me with my kids doesn't say, "What lovely grandchildren you have".

AARRGH!

P.S. Next time, I'll be weighing the pros and cons of keeping my hair silver, or dyeing it.

POOF!

2007-07-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Well, it's happened. Mark the date. July 28th, 2007 -- the date I officially disappeared.

It's not that I wanted to. I hadn't even planned it. And still it happened.

What happened?

I turned 50.

So what? Who cares? People do it all the time. What's the big deal?

If you just asked those questions you're...

1. Not there yet, or
2. Not a woman

When a woman turns 50 she automatically becomes invisible to the world. She no longer exists as far as the media is concerned. Come to think of it, she doesn't exist for the rest of society, either. She becomes a non-entity.

She's now considered a SENIOR CITIZEN.

The mail she receives will be forever different. Replacing the active sportswear and sexy lingere catalog junk mail will be catalogs for medical aids, senior supplements, and (God forbid) funeral arrangements!

How I went from 22 to 50 without noticing I'll never understand.

I think there'll be be tears on my birthday cake this evening.

Newsflash: "Old Dog Learns New Trick!"

2007-07-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to look a bit "hipper" and more interesting, I am learning to use such things as photo embedding in my blogs.

It ain't all that easy, folks. If anyone out there can give me some sage advice on how to do this faster (it took me a half-hour to figure this one out), I beseech you...

HELP ME!

P.S. - No, this isn't a photo of me; just some old broad that is experiencing the same frustrations as I am.

Shear Genius!

2007-05-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

I will do anything to keep from writing.

The mail comes - I'm there!
The dogs need to go outside for a game of soccer - away we go.
I need to make something edible for my family? Well, I'll grumble, but I'm on it.

The T.V.

I've just discovered something new to piss away my time: a brainless reality show called SHEAR GENIUS. This gem is hosted by Jaclyn Smith. Hmm, so this is what over-50 actresses are reduced to doing in Hollywood.

The premise is this; twelve hairdressers compete each week by doing haircuts (on mannequins, and live young women), and each week there is one winner/one loser. The loser leaves. The winner gets his/her picture up on the "wall of fame"!

Last week the challenge was to cut hair using only bizarre tools, such as box cutters, child-safe scissors, and exacto knives. The winner of the match used an enormous pair of hedge clippers!

This is great stuff. I absolutely love it!

This week, the contestants had to do a "red carpet" hairstyle for Vanessa Williams. Woo Hoo!

Now, tell the truth, wouldn't YOU rather be watching this than writing????

I thought as much.

Out of the Darkness

2007-03-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

re·viv·al /rɪˈvaɪvəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-vahy-vuhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.restoration to life, consciousness, vigor, strength, etc.
2.restoration to use, acceptance, or currency: the revival of old customs.
3. new production of an old play.
4.a showing of an old motion picture.
5.an awakening, in a church or community, of interest in and care for matters relating to personal religion.
6.an evangelistic service or a series of services for the purpose of effecting a religious awakening: to hold a revival.
7.the act of reviving.
8.the state of being revived.
9.Law. the reestablishment of legal force and effect.

For our purposes here, I will be using examples 1 & 2.

Example number 1:

For quite a long time now, I have felt...off. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, except to use that overused diagnosis; Depression. One week ago, I finally decided to do something about it. I saw someone, and received a prescription for a drug commonly used to treat depression.

I didn't hold out hope that it would be of help to me, since In years past, I had taken other medications for the same symptoms. But, I faithfully took the tiny pills, anyway.

I couldn't have been more surprised at the results of taking this new drug, than if you had hit me over the head with a frying pan! In almost no time, I felt good. No, not good, great! I haven't felt like this in years! I'm not lethargic; I have no desire to sleep the day away, as I did before.

In other words, this stuff is just what the doctor order, so-to-speak!

One of the greatest benefits of my rebirth, if you will, is that renewed interest in my work. For far too long, I drudged along writing...not writing. Nothing consistent in my work habits. I guess you could say, the only consistency was my inconsistency.

Since starting the "wonder drug", I've almost become hyper-focused on completing my work.

Which brings me to example number 2:

Every screenwriter you meet will have that one piece that stands out from all the other he/she has ever written. It's their baby. The one that might never see the light of day, but will always remain in the back of their mind.

Two days after beginning treatment, I brought my baby out. Its words are still sweet to my ears even after four years of being locked away in the dark.

I decided to give my baby new life. I am currently doing a re-write, in the hopes that others will fall in love with her as well.

As any mother will tell you, the only thing you can do for your children is to give them the best possible start in life. After that, it's all up to them.

This is one kid that's going places! At least that's this mother's opinion.

Bi-Polar Writing

2007-02-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

It's on. It's off. It's on again.

Sound familiar? This is the way I write. I'm either drowning in ideas and drive, or I'm a blank page with no incentive whatsoever.

At the moment, I'm quite manic. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's just that everything I'm coming up with lately is a GREAT idea. And commercial, too!

So what's the beef?

Time. Or, actually, a lack of it. I've even contemplated getting a writing partner for at least one of these projects.

What to do? What to choose? Should I go with the light, frothy family film, or should I delve into the deep, dark recesses of mental illness with the dark indie I have in mind.

These are only two examples of the dozen, or so I have outlined in the last month.

What a delicious dilemna. Let's hope this manic episode is an extra-long one!

With Gratitude

2007-01-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

I am constantly amazed by the generosity of people. When disasters strike, clothing, money and help pours in from every direction.

To you breast cancer might not be viewed as a disaster, but to a person recently diagnosed with it, it most certainly is.

Please take it from me. I know from personal experience. My own mother had breast cancer. Twice. As a young child, I witnessed the agony my mother endured when she had her first mastectomy.

In the early 1960's, when my mother was first dignosed, the medical treatments were not as advanced as they are today. A simple "lumpectomy" was unheard of. The treatment of the day was to go in and remove EVERYTHING -- breast, surrounding muscle, lymph nodes, and in some cases, even bone. After all this carnage, extreme radiation was used to kill off any remaining cancer cells. Needless to say, the survival rate was not very good. If the woman did survive, she was left terribly disfigured, and oft-times in great pain.

Not a very pleasant subject to talk about.
Not very pleasant to live through, either.

Science has made great improvement since those early days. But, we're not there yet.

We need YOU.

Every second person born on this planet is a woman. You know her. She's your grandmother...mother...sister...aunt...cousin...co-worker...girlfriend...wife...daughter. The sad statistic is that each and every one of these women has the 1 in 3 odds of getting breast cancer.

Let's change those odds!
Please press the link below to make a donation to the AVON WALK FOR BREAST CANCER.

http://walk.avonfoundation.org/site/TR?pg=personal&fr_id=1284&px=3151067

Remember: One dollar, or one thousand dollars, every penny goes to help someone you know.

With tremendous gratitude,
Cathy

The Greater Good

2007-01-17T19:25:00.000-08:00

To celebrate 50 healthy years on this planet, I've decided to participate in the AVON WALK FOR BREAST CANCER, that will take place in Los Angeles on September 15th and 16th this year. We will be walking a marathon and a half; 39.3 miles, to be exact!

I am doing this for myself, of course, but I am also doing this as a way to give back to the community; something I've done precious little of.

I will also doing this in memory of my mother and grandmother, who both had breast cancer. I saw first-hand the toll this horrible disease takes, both physically and emotionally, and I WILL NOT allow it to happen to me, or to my daughter.

So, in the weeks to come, I will be asking for your support -- and dollars.

My goal is to raise $1,800.00. A small price to pay knowing that every single woman in your life has a 1 in 3 chance of getting breast cancer in her lifetime. I want to change those odds.

If you wish to contact me, or to make a pledge, please don't hesitate to drop me a line.

Two things to remember: Every dollar you pledge is going to a great cause, PLUS every dollar you pledge is fully tax-deductable!

My very best to you and yours,
Cathy

Major Milestone Dead Ahead!

2007-01-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

So. As difficult as it is to believe, I will be turning 50 at the end of July.

I know, I know...I SO don't look it! Thank you. I hear it all the time. However, it is perfectly true, and to celebrate (or, inebriate - take your pick), I'm going to throw myself a birthday party, thankyouverymuch.

That's the easy part. The difficulty lies in deciding what kind of party to hold. I mean, let's face it, I don't think I'll be passing through here again any time soon, so I want to pull out all the stops. I want something memorable. Cupcakes and punch just won't cut it.

So, I started collecting ideas for the theme of my party. To date, I've come up with only two:

1. Hollywood Red Carpet
2. "50" of Everything

Obviously, I need help. A lot of it. Now.

And, here's where you all come in. Since none of you know me (or my quirks), I want to hear what you think I should to to make this celebration a huge success. Anything goes...uh, except group nude baying at the moon, of course!

Not Just For Today

2006-12-22T23:42:00.000-08:00

Tonight, with Chanukah coming to an end and with Christmas looming nearby, I wish you and yours the very best. May the spirit of the season be with you whatever religion you call your own. Be good to yourself. Be good to others. Be well.

Peace.

Lame and Lamer

2006-12-07T16:26:00.000-08:00

I got a call today from Mark at THE VINE ENTERTAINMENT. Remember them? They're the production company from the post below that turned out to be one giant red herring. Anyway, it seems they received my screenplay and are very interested in setting up a meeting with me.

Say what?!

I told Mark that I had already had one meeting with Cameron Graham. He was understandably confused and said he'd talk with Cameron about it. I told him not to bother. Then I told him I believe his company to be a sham and not to contact me again.

Three hours later I received another call. This time, from Warren (the receptionist/assistant) at THE VINE. He asks me what I meant by "Their company is a sham"? I told him that any production company that boasts of a $60 million dollar account ripe for productions, and then turns around and asks writers to pay for their own coverage is not on the level. His response was, "Well, then you don't understand how independent productions companies work."I told him I was this close to calling the Better Business Bureau on them, and not to contact me again.

So, what do you think? Will I get "blacklisted" by them? Should I expect a 350-pound thug on my doorstep in the middle of the night?

Livin' and Learnin' - The Hard Way

2006-11-27T20:55:00.000-08:00

This is my follow-up on the meeting I had with that production company almost two weeks ago.

If you'll recall, the person I met with said he was sending out my script for coverage and I was to call him back.I didn't need to wait. They called me today.

They wanted to know if I still wanted them to send my script out for coverage. I was - needless to say - a tad confused. I told them I was under the impression they had already sent it out. At this point I was put on hold. They came back on the line and said there must have been a misunderstanding. Apparantely, they want to send my work in for coverage, but they do not have the manpower to handle it, so I was advised they "know of some people at the studios that would be willing to do it for them".

And then I said, "But you want me to pay for it, right?"

"Well, yeah."

"So you're really not interested in my script, are you?"

"Not as it stands now, no."

Wow. I feel like such a fool. It's back to square one -- no, not even square one. I'm pretty sure that my script (at least for now) is D.O.A.

Since the company I met with seems to have no problems in taking advantage of people like you and me, I see no problem in outing them.

THE VINE ENTERTAINMENT, with Gino Cabanas and Cameron Graham, is a scam - pure and simple. Sure, they may have credits, but if they have to ask writers to pay for their own coverage, then that's not a company worth doing business with.

Gee, the last time anyone wanted to screw me that badly, at least I got dinner first.

Family Secrets

2006-11-24T19:34:00.000-08:00

I have a little story to tell you.

It’s about a woman who was married three times. Her first marriage produced a daughter. Her third produced two more daughters. Although her first and third marriages were (I’m sure) quite interesting themselves, we will not be talking about them today.

We will, however, talk about her second marriage.

It seems the woman met a young man in Las Vegas and they instantly hit it off. They quickly married and settled down in Los Angeles, and everything seemed fine.

Now, every marriage has its secrets, and theirs was no exception. The woman was sure she had finally met the man who would make her happy. Unfortunately, this was not to be, for it turned out that the man wasn’t quite who he told her he was. The woman soon found out that her new husband had a criminal background. He had ties with the Mob. Not just any ties, mind you, but with Bugsy Siegel. THE Bugsy Siegel. The man worked directly with Siegel, and had, himself, been arrested many times for larceny and “other” crimes. By the time the woman found out about her husband’s past, she was already pregnant with their first child.

One night her husband came home and demanded to have sexual relations with her. Since the man had a raging case of the measles, she feared for the safety of their unborn child and refused him. The man threatened her life and stormed out.

Fearing for her safety, as well as her daughter’s, they left their apartment and went to stay with her mother. She immediately filed for divorce. The husband’s response to this was to plant a bomb in the bedroom closet where she and her daughter were now staying.

When the bomb detonated, the bedroom was completely destroyed, but as fate would have it, the woman escaped injury by having chosen to spend that night on the living room couch.

The woman gave birth to another daughter. She named her Cheryl. Her now ex-husband wanted nothing to do with the child, but “insisted” on giving the baby to his brother and sister-in-law to raise. Afraid for her life, the woman relented and gave away her newborn child to him.

She would never see the child again.

Many years later, during her third marriage, she and her family were just being served dinner in a restaurant when He walked in. The woman blanched and insisted they leave. Luckily, they got out just before He saw them.

The woman lived to be 60 years old. She never spoke about her second child with anyone.

On her 18th birthday, her youngest child finally learns the truth; that she has, not two but three sisters. For the next 31 years, thoughts of this other sister would come and go, but never quite leave her. She was torn between her need to know and her feelings of betrayal by a mother long dead.

As a screenwriter I am always searching for interesting premises to write about. This story has always intrigued me, because the woman and the situations were quite real.

I know, because the woman in the story was my mother. I am her youngest child.

This year, I am going in search of the sister I’ve never known.

Head Games; Dread Games

2006-11-15T15:50:00.000-08:00

So. Today was the big day. My very first ever face-to-face meeting with a production company to discuss a script I wrote. Pretty heady stuff, considering I've only gotten rejection letters before this.

From the moment the company called, until I walked through their doors, I did what I do best. I beat myself up. After the giddiness of being invited to a meeting instead of receiving a standard "no thank you" letter wore off, I began convincing myself what a shit writer I am, and how I'm so going to totally blow the meeting. As I said before; it's what I do best, and what I do best is not necessarily the best for me.

Cut to two days ago. I finally get a tenuous grip on my sanity just long enough to get a new "do". I look great now, and I'm stoked. Let me at 'em!

Twenty fours later, I'm back to square one because I read about a former college friend who -- I JUST found out -- was the live action model for Disney's "Ariel" and "Belle", as well as a television producer and is currently a voice-over artist in the Animaniacs series. Being the self-loathing individual I am, I naturally compare her success to mine. Big mistake. Huge. I sat on the sofa at 11:30 pm not wanting to go to the meeting at all.

But I did.

I'm a big believer in free advice, knowing that you usually get what you pay for it. I'm very good at separating the wheat from the chaff. So, with the advice I'd received from family, friends, and colleagues, I was ready to wow them!

I walked through their door with confidence and grace (if not internally, at least externally), and was ready for anything they would throw at me. I met their intern, Warren, who kindly offered me a beverage, which I took. And then I waited. There was no one there but Warren and me. No one. Okay, no problem, I've heard about this happening all the time. I was cool. This was going to happen.

Twenty minutes go by before one of the individuals I'm supposed to meet with shows up. We shake hands and he shows me into an office (which has the BEST freaking view of the Pacific Ocean, by the way), and we sit opposite each other in big, comfy leather chairs. This guy's the VP of Development, and although I was scheduled to meet with him and the CEO, the other guy's detained on another project, so it's just me and him for today. Fine with me. It's also fine with me that he just happens to look a helluva lot like Viggo Mortensen.

So, Viggo and I shoot the breeze about me and my history. He reveals he's not actually read the script, and at this stage it's not necessary. I found out that the reason my script was read (By Warren, by the way) at all, was that Warren liked the way I sounded on the phone! Holy crap, talk about serendipity. Good thing I wasn't having a shitty day when he called me up!

Vigo is charming, and intelligent, and very much to the point about what their company is -- and is not. At one point he asks me to give him the "elevator pitch" about my script, because he knows nothing about it.

This is where I'm going to add my own piece of advice for all of you: practice your pitch to anybody and everybody who will listen until it is PERFECT!

I hadn't, so my "30-second elevator pitch" turned out to be a 10 minute tirade. Oops. My bad.

Thankfully, my enthusiasm overshadowed my inexperience. He was drawn into the story and asked many questions (always a good sign). He then asked what I'm working on now. I pitched two more stories; one of which piqued his interest.

At this point I fully expected Viggo to rise and show me to the door, but he didn't. What he did do was tell me he plans to obtain coverage on my work and that I should call him in one week to follow up with him. Then he gives me his card.

Then he showed me the door.

So, since I am a firm believer in taking something away from every experience, here's what I learned today:

1. I am not a shit writer. I'm pretty damned good, as a matter of fact.
2. Life is not black and white. It's all shades of gray. You go into something, such as a meeting, and either expect the very best, or the very worst to happen, and neither does. It will always be somewhere in the middle.
3. I am no longer a virgin -- as far as meetings go, so I can finally let go of that fear.
4. Enthusiasm is catching. The more enthusiastic you are about your project, they will be, too.

That's it. I'm exhaused now. Hopefully, by this time next week, I'll have some good news to share. Until then, my fingers remain crossed.

The Holy Grail

2006-11-09T16:10:00.000-08:00

Could it be? Is it possible? Why, yes...yes it is!

The Holy Grail for screenwriters is a sale, of course. But, for the budding writer, like myself, a meeting with an established production company is pretty darn close. And I'll take it, thank you very much.

Almost three months back I submitted my family drama, A GHOST OF A CHANCE, to a production company, but didn't hear a word -- until today. It seems I've jumped past that all-important first hurdle (the company's reader), and he recommended that the head honcho(s) meet with me.

Yippee!

Am I thrilled? Youbetcha.
Am I scared? TO DEATH!

Sitting alone in front of my laptop all day - every day - hasn't exactly honed my interpersonal skills. I'm no blithering idiot, but I do have the tendancy to hyperventilate, or stop breathing altogether when faced with confrontation and/or stressful situations.

You think if I faint, or throw up on his $400 shoes it'll impress him enough to offer me a six-month, $10,000 option?!?

Thank goodness the meeting's not until the 15th. Maybe by then, I'll have gotten most of these butterflies out of my stomach.

Probably not. Keep any spare fingers crossed for me.

Whatever the outcome, I'll let you know what happened during my first real meeting.

Someone Stepped in a Big Pile of Poo

2006-10-28T23:26:00.000-07:00

So, we're sitting in the theater this evening waiting for the movie to begin. Then, my favorite part - the previews - come on. I LOVE previews. I mean, I could just sit for an entire evening watching them!

So, anyway, the first one is for DejaVu, with Denzel Washington. Looks pretty cool. Nothing extraordinary, but pretty cool nonetheless. The second one is for some unremarkable film I have no intention of remembering, let alone seeing.

The third one comes on, and it gets an immediate reaction; and not a good one. It is Apocalypto, by Mel Gibson. From the moment the Icon image came on screen, you could hear subtle hissing from members of the audience. As the clips progressed, those subtle hisses became much less subtle.

All I can say, is wow, Mel, you sure fucked up good.

Your film looks fabu, and it may well become a critically aclaimed. However, I doubt if that little episode of yours will ever be entirely forgotton - or forgiven, and it will definitely show at the box office.

A small piece advice?

A.A.

Click!

2006-10-14T23:51:00.000-07:00

That's the sound of a lightbulb snapping on. You know...when someone finally "gets it"?

Well, I finally got it. Not that I'd really lost it, mind you. It's just that I had let it slip into some deep, dark corner of my mind and forgotten how desperately I need it.

The "it" I'm referring to is music.

Music has alway been there for me. During happy times, it inhanced the joy of the moment. When I was sad and felt that I was sinking into a deep abyss, it somehow pulled me up and kept me afloat.

Music is my muse. I didn't know it then. I do now.

I remember writing my first screenplay. I got some of the best work done [even if not on paper] during my half-hour commute to/from work each day all the while listening to the same exact piece of music from Sting. By the time I had completed that screenplay, you could actually see how worn the CD was from playing that one song so many times.

It seems that [for me] finding just the right piece of music is essential to writing. If I'm writing a tender moment, I will - most likely - choose something by John Barry. If there's a chase scene, Hans Zimmer currently has some great orchestrations I really like.

I've had a hard time writing anything for a while now, and it just dawned on me that all during this "blank" time, I haven't really listened to music. Sure, I listen to the radio while in the car. I'll also pop in a CD, just to drown out the outside world, but I haven't truly LISTENED to my music. But, a few days ago I finally made the connection:

It's a simple formula really; Music + Writing = Success.

So, what's your muse?

I'm a Figment of my Own Imagination

2006-10-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

This is what it feels like at the moment.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not the world's biggest attention-hog, but some is nice. Especially when you're trying to put yourself "out there" and selling yourself.

It getting pretty damned hard because I think I'm fading from view.

Literally. Fading

Sitting alone at my computer day after day is not condusive to honing those oh-so-important inter-personal skills needed for a career in Hollywood.

Combine that with the dozens of non-responses I've received on my queries.

My InkTip experiment is turning out to be a big, fat nothing. Remember that "brilliant idea" for marketing I came up with? The postcard queries? Well, so far, ZILCH.

Oops. I think I just lost sight of my left foot.

At this pace, I'll be completely invisible before Thanksgiving!

Hey, maybe there's a story in this ?~?~?

Just Another Saturday Night...Or, Why I Love L.A. So Much

2006-09-30T22:33:00.000-07:00

So it's Saturday evening, and my hubby and I are off to dinner and a movie -- as usual. We hit Daphne's in Culver City and order our food, when my hubby sees a man sitting with his four (gorgeous) children.

The hub turns to me and says, "That guy. Picture him with dreadlocks." I try, but no bells go off, so we go about our business and eat our food. While eating I notice a lot of patrons staring at that man. Still, nothing comes to mind. He does look familiar, but I just can't place him. We eat. People stare, and he's oblivious, having a great time with those beautiful children of his.

So, we finish our meal and get up to leave. I'm halfway out the restaurant before I notice my hub isn't following me. I turn to hear, "Actor, right?"

The man graciously answers my husband's query, "Yes."
Then my hub asks the man's name.
"Mario", he answers.

That's when the bells go off. The man everyone has been staring at is Mario Van Peebles.

We exchange pleasantries. I see he's wearing a Slamdance t-shirt and make the comment I'm a screenwriter, not expecting anything other than the usual, "Oh" comment.

He surprises me by asking my name. I give it. We shake hands. We make a connection, albeit brief.

We leave the restaurant thinking how great it is to live here.

Yeah.

Serendipity

2006-09-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

I was always a big believer that if you studied hard and worked harder you would get great things from this life.

Now, I'm not so sure.

I'm finding more and more that good old-fashioned luck -- or Serendipity -- may have a great deal to do with success. At least in terms of making it in Hollywood.

Let me explain.

I have written a lot of screenplays. Some, to be sure, were total crap, but some were very marketable and film-worthy. Those that were film-worthy were taken to the next level and brought to the attention of producers.

That's usually where the road ended for my babies. Boo hoo. Cry for me. This has never happened to anyone else, right? Right.

Anyway, I got to thinking that even the best writers out there -- and, again there are TONS of them -- are getting the same treatment from those same "Hollywood people". They have to, otherwise there would be a glut of mind-bogglingly great films in the works/in the can/in distribution at this very moment.

We all know that ain't so. So...?

It's luck. Pure and simple. Luck. Gotta be.

Don't get me wrong. While searching my backyard for the ever-illusive four-leaf clover I will continue working my ass off with my writing.

After all, I could be wrong.

C-O-N-C-E-N-T-R-A-T-I-O-N

2006-09-25T13:33:00.000-07:00

I have ADD.

It's not something I brag about, it's just there, sort of like having a birthmark. Only you can have a birthmark removed.

Not so ADD. It's always with you; a part of your very being.

Of course, there are medications to treat it. There are innumerable books about it. There are entire websites devoted to the discussion of it.

The one thing that almost everyone can agree upon is that IT is a pain in the ass!

It controls your every waking hour. Don't believe me? Go on and ask any one of the millions of adults that also have this fabulous condition.

Go take a pill.

I've tried that route. It works. I could actually focus for longer periods of time on a single goal.

That was the good part.

The bad part was that I was a walking zombie; no emotions, no creativity. And for someone who calls themself a writer...that's BAD.

And so I do not take meds any longer.

Who else out there has this...shall we say, interference with their life?

How has it effected your life and/or writing?

Short Shrift

2006-09-20T11:53:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember, my son has gotten the short end of the stick. His being born second means there are fewer photographs of him, and a little less awe when he comes home with that Mother's Day present he made himself.

Fortunately, he has never been subjected to hand-me-downs. His older sibling is a sister. Besides, pink just ain't his color!

The latest - in a long succession of disappointments - for him (probably mostly for me) is that due to unforseen circumstances, he has not gotten a birthday party for the past two years. That might not seem like much to you nad me, but this kid has only just turned nine, so it's a BIG deal.

When he was two, his dad was away on business, and I (literally) started a new job on his birthday. The celebration that evening was two candles in a pound cake. Do I still feel guilty about that. You bet.

When he was in pre-school, we invited everyone from his class, along with a slew of kids from our neighborhood.

A total of two other children showed up for his party.

Is it any wonder my heart bleeds for this kid? Yours would, too.

By now, you're asking what's the problem?

It's AD/HD.

Yeah, I know, everyone and their cousin says their kid has it, but unless you've lived with a child who's got it, you can NEVER understand just how devastating it can be. It takes a toll on the parent and child in ways you never imagined; self-esteem, outlook, and confidence to name just a few. I have no doubt that my son's AD/HD is THE reason he's had such little success with friendships.

Does it make things easier knowing that? No.

In three day's time, my son will be having another birthday party. I have invited over 23 kids to join us. To date, six have accepted our invitation.

Six.

I can only hope that as he grows my son will be able to hold onto his self-confidence and keep a positive outlook.

Unlike his mother, who's fingernails are bitten to the quick.

A Little Sleaze, Please?

2006-09-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, sitting at the local ice-skating rink watching my son and his friend having a playdate, I hit upon an idea for a comedy I'd like to flesh out.

I need some help from you guys out there in blogland.

When I write, I like to come up with two things right off the bat: A title, and names for the lead characters.

I've always felt that the right title helps with the "feel" of the film. Names of characters (for me) give me insights into that person's psyche.

Now for the part where you come in.

I need to give a name to one of my characters, who's a real slimeball. He's a soft-porn producer, who's helping a town out by supplying an "all nude review".

What name would you give this guy?

It's Schnau, or Never

2006-09-12T16:41:00.000-07:00

I did it. I just couldn't leave it alone. It's like eating potato chips; I just couldn't stop at one.

His name is Bandit. He's a Miniature Schnauzer that I located (on of all places) Craig's List!

He's small -- much smaller that my other Mini (Barkley), and is black and white with great markings. Barkley is all black, and therefore frequently mistaken for a Scottish Terrier.

My hubby wasn't too terribly thrilled at the aspect of us aquiring yet another animal. With this latest addition, we now have two dogs, two parakeets, one "slider" turtle, and one guinea pig. That, on top of the four humans that reside here.

Our is quite the menagerie.

Between all the feedings, cage and terrarium cleanings, and grooming, I'm ATTEMPTING to get some actual writing into my day.

It ain't easy.

But it is fun.

9-11

2006-09-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

Let us never forget.

"Experiment" Update #1

2006-09-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

Okay. Here's what I've gotten so far:

Date script listed on InkTip: August 19, 2006
Number of requests for screenplay - ZERO
Number of views: August 19 - 3
August 20 - 4
August 21 - 5
August 22 - 3
August 23 thru September 7 - NADA; ZILCH; ZIP; NOT-A-ONE

Normally I'd drown my bitterness and sorrow in a tall glass of something highly alcoholic, but I 1) knew this would be an experiment, and 2) also know that toward the end of Summer NOBODY is at home in Hollywood.

Besides, I just stumbled upon (yet) another way to market my piece: it's vivid, colorful, straight to the point, shouldn't be overlooked by those "front-office" people, and - best of all - it's practically FREE!

Huh?!

Have you ever heard of those "free" business cards they sell online? I'm sure you have. Well, they're offering the same deal on postcards now. Big, beautiful, colorful ones that catch the eye. I like this idea because it's different. In this town different is good.

I also like it because it's free. I love anything free.

For just the price of postage, I'll be sending my story idea in a totally unique way.

As with the InkTip listing, I'll keep you posted.

No pun intended.

The Juggling Act

2006-09-06T14:11:00.000-07:00

Life.

Every year, just before school starts, I go to Costco (or some other store) and purchase what's known as a "Mom's calendar". These are nifty things that help keep us organized. Duh.

I knew this year was going to be different because my eldest is starting middle school, and my youngest started in a new private school. And, before you say, "Rich snob!", no, I'm not. My son has AD/HD, and processing issues, thus the special school.

Anyway, the first day of school came and went - without a hitch - thank God. When the kids got home they presented me with what seems the thickness of Moby Dick in paperwork, school notices, volunteer sign-ups, and rules and regulations. There were also lots of envelopes looking to be filled with money for family dinner nights, PTSA, and "school contributions".

Egads, I'm drowning! Can one actually drown in paper? Hmmm...I'll need to research that one.

I digress.

So, faced with this ocean of paperwork, I carefully prepared my worksurface; pencils and pens at the ready, that "Mom's calendar" sitting open, and, finally, a glass of H2O at my side. I then dove in.

Glub!

After just a few minutes I realized I had filled in almost the entire calendar! There was hardly a free space. Between the school activities, parent/teacher conferences, and doctor and dentist visits, there was nary an open day in which to just BE.

Oy.

My friends - the ones who were wise; got married and bore their offspring at a much younger age than I did - tell me "it only gets worse".

Gee, thanks. I'll remember that for my next life.

RIP Steve Irwin

2006-09-04T16:27:00.000-07:00

I never met the man. I would have loved to, but that's obviously not going to happen, now.

Steve was also nuts.

He took more chances with his own safety that any other indivdual I can think of. And, you know what? I admired him for that!

Steve lived they way most of us only dream of; balls to the wall!

We can all take a lesson from Steve Irwin; don't just dream it - DO IT!

I fully intend to.

Is That a Light I See???

2006-09-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

Today is September 1st. For those of you without kids, this day has no special meaning, other than the fact that you can:

1) Not wear white shoes again until Spring (how's THAT for a throwback?)
2) Have a really great BBQ to celebrate...who the hell remembers what for, anyway?
3) It's Friday.

No. September 1st, to me, represents closure.

Of the Summer, that is.

My kids (gotta love 'em) start back to school in exactly 3 days, 19 hours, and 30 minutes - give or take a minute or two.

As I've stated before, I love my kids. I wanted them. I gave birth to them. I nurture them.

I also can't stand them.

This has been one very interesting summer. It's the first one that neither of them (I have two - Nick, who is turning 9, and Sarah, who just turned 11) has been in some kind of "situation", or Summer Camp. Roughly translated, that means my two beautiful offspring have been with me 24/7 for the last 3 months.

Okay. Before you go off on how "I wanted kids", or "I don't know what you've got to complain about", or even, "don't you realize that kids are a blessing", I've heard all that before.

Ask yourself this: when was the last time you spent THAT much time alone with two pre-teens, who can't seem to get along for thirty seconds on-end???

Between breaking up the knock-down drag-out fights, and chauffering Nick and Sarah to wherever they needed to be, I (believe) I wrote a grand total of two (&%*&^%#) pages the whole summer!

Now, you get my point.

School is definitely this writing mother's best friend.

I swear, by all that is holy, that next summer my kids will be in camp, even if I have to take on multiple jobs to pay for them!

In the meantime, come by my kids' school this Tuesday morning, and you should be able to instantly recognize me. I'll be the one in the parking lot doing the Back to School Boogie.

My $50 Experiment - Part Deux

2006-08-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

An agent. I need one.

Badly.

Knowing that is the easy part.

The hard part is in obtaining one. A GOOD one, that is.

That brings me to "My $50 Experiment - Part Deux", in which I'll be shelling out another (fairly large) sum of money to snail-mail query letters to agencies in the hopes of gaining representation.

It's not exactly as if I hadn't though of doing this before. I have. I just knew (then) that I wasn't ready.

All right. I'm a big enough person to admit it was my WORK that wasn't ready. But, through sheer effort, time, and exhaustive ... oh, cut to the chase already!

I've written, re-written, and RE-re-written enough pieces to the point in which I feel they are finally marketable. Apparantely, so do others, because one of them made the top 10% at Nicholl, and received "consider" status from a coverage company.

I'm good at writing. What I am not good at is marketing - myself, that is. And, therefore, I need a champion; someone to go out there and help me fight the good fight.

I may now have steel balls, but they are not cannonballs!

I hate doing cold calls.

Haaaate it! (Insert Jim Carrey's voice here)

When I get on the phone to market my work (and myself), the "Fight or Flight" syndrome takes over and I automatically begin hyperventilating. What I sound like, I can only imagine, but I know it ain't good. And, in order to be believable and come across as a true professional, you must sound good.

You'd think that 20-odd years of acting experience would be helpful. Right?

Yeah, well, I thought so, too. But, I was wrong.

I know I'll still need to get out and market...well, ME, but I figure it will be somewhat less painful knowing there's someone else out there who's rooting for me, even if it's only to get their 10%.

My $50 Experiment

2006-08-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

Okay. I admit it. I'm frustrated. No, not THAT kind of frustrated, thank you very much. Frustrated in the "I've had my worm out there forever, but the fish aren't biting" kind of way.

So, I decided to bite the bullet and part with a bit of cash. $50 to be exact.

The target? InkTip.

The bait? My family feature, "A Ghost of a Chance".

The goal? A sale, duh!

Will it happen? Only God knows.

But I figure it's like the old joke:

Saul wants to win the lottery - badly. So Saul pleads with God.

"Dear Lord, PLEASE let me win the lottery this week!"
Each and every week, Saul give the same plea,
"Dear Lord, PLEASE let me win the lottery this week!"
One day, just after Saul utters his usual plea, he hears the booming voice of God.
"Saul, do you want to win this week's lottery?"
"Yes, Dear Lord, YES!", Saul cries.
"Then do me a favor." says God
"Anything. What is it?", asks Saul
"Buy a ticket!"

I'll keep you all updated on my progress.

Losing More Than Touch

2006-08-13T00:33:00.000-07:00

It's 12:28 am, and I just finished watching "The Rock". I've seen it before, but I never realized that a friend of mine was in it. As the credits were rolling, I noticed his name - SAM WHIPPLE.

When his name came up, a flood of memories came to me. You see, we went to college together. He was a skinny/geeky kid, who always smiled. He was someone you knew you could trust. We were part of a group of up and coming talent.We were going to be the next hot actors. Donald Petrie was one of us. He performed with Sam and me in college. My recollection of those times is still strong today.

Unfortunately, I wasn't as committed as Sam was. I never developed that thick skin so vital to survival in Hollywood as an actor. Sam, on the otherhand did. And he did quite well because of it. You probably don't know his name, but you sure as hell know his face. He did commercials, television, and features. The skinny/geeky kid I knew in college turned into a seasoned professional.

We lost touch after college, but I always got a thrill to see him on the screen - both large and small.

So, back to tonight. After seeing his name in the credits for "The Rock", I immediately got online and went straight to IMDB to find out what he's been up to.

There he was. The same face, the same openess in his expression. Only something was horribly different.

Sam was dead.

My friend Sam died in 2002 of colon cancer, and I hadn't heard of it. As I write these words I am crying; for him, for me.

Damn me! Why hadn't I kept in touch with him? I loved him. He was so true, so genuine. I regret not having been a better friend to him.

If there's someone you keep meaning to get back in touch with, but life just keeps getting in your way, PLEASE do it now.

You will never regret it.

Do You Have Balls of Steel?

2006-08-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

In Hollywood these are a "Must Have" item. They may be the only things that keep you going between bouts of rejection from production companies.

Did you know that if you don't have 'em, you can buy 'em? I sure as hell didn't ---until David Freedman, of the Hollywood View agency, pointed this out.

Try as I might, I couldn't get my hand on a pair. Until yesterday.

There they were; just sitting there waiting for me - in Chinatown. And they're p-r-e-t-t-y, too! Feel real nice in my hands... smooth...round.

They even tinkle!

SAY WHAT ?!?!?!?

Let me explain. During Expo 4, David Freedman made an analogy using (of all things) Ben Wa balls. For those of you who haven't heard of them, they're small metal balls made in China and Japan, and they're used for..um, well...shall we say...um, an act of pleasure??? Not that I would ever do that. (Well, come to think of it, I'm not sure I even COULD do that!)

Anyway, The real purpose of my $3.00 purchase is to remind me each and every time I receive a, "This isn't quite what we're looking for" letter, to get past it and go on.

And so I shall.

And, they really do tinkle nicely!

Life: Where the Best Material Comes From

2006-08-08T18:13:00.000-07:00

So, today I'm taking my two kids to PetSmart for some unnecessary supplies, and my 8 year-old asks me,

"Mom, which kind of pets are the easiest to take care of?"
To which I replied,
"Dead ones, honey."

Doesn't get much better than that.

Call for Help

2006-08-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, I admit it. I'm an idiot. Actually, I'm not an an idiot, but I am computer-challenged. Greatly.

Try as I might, I simply cannot figure out how to add links onto my blog.

Yes, I've already read the directions. yes, I've already contacted the IT people. No, I do not understand what everyone has told me. Like I said before; computer-challenged.

Several of you have kindly added me onto your blogs. I would love to reciprocate - if I could, that is.

Would someone out there PLEASE give me simple, straight-forward instructions??????

In ENGLISH, preferably.

Oh, and thank you!

May I Validate That For You...?

2006-08-01T23:03:00.000-07:00

Validation. What a wonderful thing to have happen. In my opinion, it just doesn't happen often enough; and to people who truly deserve it, too.

I got some today. And, I really needed it.

It came in the form of a rejection letter from the Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting competition. It seems I didn't make the Quarterfinals (rats!), but... a small note at the bottom of the form letter stated that, "You were close --- among the top 10% of all entries into the competition". All entries, being a total of 4,899 good, so-so, and truly horrible scripts.

Well, good golly, Miss Molly, if this news didn't brighten my day!

I am in love with the screenplay that I wrote. I know, I know... everyone says that. But, I REALLY believe that this one is special. This could be THE ONE that gets me where I want to go. God knows, I've tried hard enough.

Kudos to those who go forward with the Nicholl. I couldn't be happier for them.

Or, for me.

Degrees... and Degrees

2006-07-24T15:39:00.000-07:00

Fuck. It's hot!

Not only hot, it's humid. That's saying a lot for Los Angeles. Usually, summer 'round here is in the high 80's to 90's, but without this damned humidity.

It's so humid I'm sticking to everything - except writing, that is. The heat has addled my brain.

Add to this the fact that my aunt died yesterday. Normally, the death of a 93 year old woman wouldn't stress most people out. After all, she's (hopefully) lived a long and fruitful life. Nope, my stress from her death comes as a result of my lazy-ass-sister's inability to cope with having to be a part of this family, so she pretends that we don't exist. And, therefore, I was asked to become the conservator for my elderly aunt.

Okay, no problemo. This one should be a walk in the park, right?

Little did I know the hassles in store for me. The paperwork alone could sink a luxury cruise ship. That, plus I had to get a fucking bond on my house, just to insure that I wouldn't take off to South America with my aunt's money.

Oh, brother.

Of course, now that she's died, the game has changed. There even MORE paperwork, and I need to contact relatives even I didn't know existed.

Surely my act of selflessness will earn me a cushier spot in Heaven, don't you think?

Yeah, right.

Write...now there's a concept. Hopefully, I will get my shit together long enough to complete any one of the dozen-or-so ideas floating around in my over-heated cranium.

Or, I can just sit here and bitch about the weather.

Decisions...decisions...

Writing Contests

2006-07-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

We love 'em. We hate 'em, too, but we're still drawn to them like flies to a rotting corpse.

We write, and re-write, and re-write some more, because God knows it just needs that one little tweak.

Then we rush to the post office, still licking the envelopes shut, just making it through those doors before the place closes for the night. The postal worker unceremoniously stamps your precious oeuvre, you turn and depart uttering one last prayer to the Gods of luck creativity.

And anyone who says they're "above all that" is full of shit.

The one and only reason we enter over-hyped pocket-drainers is to receive confirmation that we are unique; that we matter; that in this cookie-cutter world we stand apart from all the others. We, through brainpower alone, have created something so unique that we will change mankind forever. Hallelujah!

What bullshit.

What we've done is to openly say, "love me"!
"Validate me!"
"Give me a reason to believe I'm something more than a sheep. "

And so we wait for those results, firmly believing our words have more depth and meaning than any of the other 5,826 Neanderthals who've entered the same contest.

Yeah, right.

Hello, My name is _______

2006-07-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

Wow. Cool. My own blog.

My very own personal diary that every person in the world has access to!

Whodathunkit?

Since I'm still a recovering typewriter-to-computer kinda gal, I'm asking - in advance - to forgive any errors that will most certainly occur.

Okay, so just who the hell am I, anyway? Here are some facts about me:

1. My name is Cathy Krasnianski
2. I live in California with (1) husband, (2) kids, (1) dog, (1) turtle, and (1) tadpole.
3. I "retired" from being a travel agent two and a half years ago (told 'em to fuck off is more like it), in order to write full time.
4. I write - screenplays. Lots and lots of screenplays. So if you think that type of writing is beneath you, I'd suggest you get out of here while you can, because that's what we're gonna be talking about. A lot.
5. I have sold one screenplay, so far. And, so far, it has yet to be made.
6. I have many vices; only a couple of which I'm willing to divulge here. More on those later on...
7. My birth sign is Leo (for those of you into that sort of thing), and my birthday is coming up, so feel free to buy me something!

And, finally, why did I start this blog? Excellent question. Probably, because I could.

So there.